Dr. Tumbili, The Monkey Trader

Dr. Tumbili, The Monkey Trader

Dr. Tumbili is the Monkey Trader… THE forex trading authority!

Remember? Wouldn’t you rather be like him?

Well, you probably don’t know it yet. But for me… “even though I’m still an engineer, as a TRADER I’d rather be a monkey!”

Why? Because he’s smarter!

For one thing, monkeys have known how to survive for millions of years. We engineers, the new guys on the block, can barely figure out how to survive our own inventions, either nuclear or “warm” related!

At every new generation, we seem to threat humanity with a different type of holocaust… Very smart indeed!

Briefly: while monkeys have a survival instinct, we engineers have a self-destructive one!

See why they’re smarter? Among them, Dr. Tumbili is the smartest. On top of his natural survival instincts, he developed additional important skills.

Now… I really can’t say if they’re skills or personality issues. Either way, it makes no difference whatsoever.


The Perfect Trader!

Let’s just observe how he trades:

  • He’s hungry. That’s it. He’s not happy or unhappy, fearful, excited, anxious, bored, horny. He’s hungry. Period.
  • He’s two-dimensional. Blue button lights up, he presses it. Red button lights up, he presses it. No timing issues, no fundamentals, no charts, no BS.
  • He eats bananas. When the banana shows up, he eats it… then he sleeps. Period.

Goodbye Dr. Tumbili… see you tomorrow, same time, same place.

And there you have it: The Perfect Trader!


Following Whaaaat?

“Hey, wait a second!” – the outraged engineers grunted – “Just wait a second! Who’s lighting up the buttons?! Which button will light up first: red or blue? Who’s doing this? Who’s dispensing the banana, and when? We got you, Luke, we got you!”

And the outraged engineers, hit deeply in their pride, were right. They got me!

In my attempt to prove apes’ superiority in forex trading matters, though, I needed to tease my colleagues a little bit more.

“OK, guys, what do you see down here?

  1. monkey positioned;
  2. a button lights up;
  3. monkey presses the button;
  4. a banana shows up;
  5. monkey eats banana and sleeps;
  6. monkey goes home;
  7. monkey returns next day to resume trading.

Do you see a procedure?”

“Yes, yes… precisely!” – they answered, all excited – “A monkey can’t possibly come up with such advanced procedures by himself! Your theory is wrong… they’re NOT perfect traders!“

When they want to prove their point, engineers tend to be emphatic, almost dramatic…

“Well… what do you think that is?” – I continued – “Yes, exactly. It’s a System! Dr. Tumbili is trading following a System. And we, the engineers, came up with such System.

There was a roaring burst of pure indignation among all engineers in the audience!

Following whaaaat?!? Luke, you’re mocking us: WE build the system, and the monkey is THE guy?!? Why on Earth are we listening to this nonsense? You should be ashamed”… and they went on and on.


We’re Engineers. They’re Traders!

Letting the audience calm down was a work of patience and moderation. Once they could hear me, though, the conversation went directly to the jugular.

“We engineers developed that system, all right. It was done using our knowledge of statistics, coding, fundamentals, simulations, quantum physics and bus schedules.

Now… Did you know we’ve been PAID by the monkeys to do so? And you know why?

Because we’re engineers: we can build the system, but we can’t trade it!

We are too emotional, too self-centered, too complicated, too arrogant to follow, blindly, a simple set of rules that we – ourselves – proudly created in the first place!

The monkeys, though, are thankfully paying us a tribute:

  1. by believing that we did a great job, and
  2. by actually following our system!

Speaking of trading, we engineers are really peculiar:

  • We have more fear of being WRONG than we have of LOSING MONEY!

That’s why we are the Engineers, and they are the Traders! We do the work, they make the money!

Does anybody still doubt that monkeys are smarter than engineers?

One last thing: Have you ever seen engineers owning penthouses in Central Park?”


Model T

Dr. Tumbili is not right or wrong. He’s hungry, just hungry!

He has no reputation to protect, no fear to conquer. As long as the banana is there, he’s happy!

Now that we finally decided that only “monkeys” can consistently trade “systems”, what kind of systems can they really trade?

“All kinds of systems” – I would say.

There is something to consider, though.

I’m a passionate classic cars’ enthusiast. Let’s compare “systems” to “cars”, shall we?

Cars are certainly “better” nowadays than they were 40 – or even 100 – years ago, right?

But… are they really?

It depends.

If your car (and your cellphone) breaks down in the middle of Death Valley, which one would you prefer to fix:

  • the classic, simple, straightforward one-engine-transmission-suspension-no-nonsense-type-of-machine, or
  • the modern, embedded with rocket science to its teeth?

Wouldn’t you say that, “in times of crises”, the simpler the better?

Guess what?

Dr. Tumbili knows – because he’s smart, remember? – that from the very moment he opens a trade, he is “in times of crisis” mode till he closes it!

He knows that his Forex Trading System needs to be as SIMPLE as possible!

Comparing “Simplicity” to “Classic Cars” (actually, in this case it’s “Vintage Cars”), what Dr. Tumbili needs is the “trading equivalent of a Ford Model T”.

It will be slower, less powerful, less efficient, burn more gasoline, all right… but:

  1. It will run forever;
  2. It will be reliable;
  3. And when it breaks – if it breaks – monkeys can fix it!

So, let’s give Dr. Tumbili a “Model T Forex Trading System”!

Thanks for watching…


See you at the next page: Model T Trading System.